Listening to: "Yearning" playlist (song playing: "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch)

Thinking: I believe I'm going mad.

Feeling: Desperate

I forgot to say that "Solitudes" was on Tuesday. That's my third favourite episode. The the one I fell in love with Daniel while watching, over two years ago. I still think of that every time I see the scene where it happened, when you see him as he's waking when he sees Teal'c and says his name. At that moment it was though a veil had been lifted from my eyes, and I really saw Daniel for the first time, the way no one else ever could, and more than that, I could feel him, his soul, his inner beauty. I can't explain it, but of course I still experience that when I see him now, even when I just think about him, which is literally all the time, so yeah, I'm in a constant state of enlightenment as far as Daniel goes.

"Fallen" was on yesterday. I think my favourite part in that episode is when Daniel actually calls Sam and Jack "Sam" and "Jack". That's I think when you really know he's going to be okay. You know, also, I was thinking I'd seen that episode since I fell in love with him, but, I really do think I love him more now if so, because I don't remember being as affected by how very upset he is before he decides to go back to the SGC and begins regaining his memory. I'm glad it doesn't last that long. There are a number of episodes I can't watch because he's emotionally hurt through much of them. I'm certainly glad "Fallen" isn't so bad as that. I wish I could have been there for him, though. I always think that when he's troubled. I mean, I wish I could be with him always, even when he's fine, but yeah. I know if we'd been together before he lost his memory, when he saw me, he'd remember me right away. I know he did know me at one time, in another life, in heaven, some such thing. That's a little different than what I meant before, of course. Still, I wonder if he'd recall me at all if he could see me. I wonder if he has any idea about me, however slight. Like that song "Your Wildest Dreams". I love that song. It's on my "Yearning" playlist, actually.