The current mood of bluelucy at

Watching: Yellow Submarine

Thinking: I swear this is like my second or third favourite movie.

Feeling: Beatlish, and all that.

28/10/2007 - 1:04 a.m. to 6:23 a.m.

Template Change/Didn't Like NotLD/Maxie


So, I'm back to my old template, well, not exactly. I couldn't find the old one. I merely tweaked the one I've had for the past two years and 10 odd months. I got it to look very similar to the old layout, so that's something.

Musesrealm saved me once again on the older entries, with a lovely music themed template.

Before I get to what I really want to talk about, I have to say, I did not like "Night of the Living Dead". I mean, the ending sucked. It's extremely frustrating that Ben dies. I mean, I see horror movies like plays, because there's no way that that much messed up shit can happen and be real, you know. The balance just wouldn't allow it, but still, you get sad when something bad happen to a character you like in a play. I mean, the idea of it, you know. So, yeah. It is a masterpiece of horror, but I don't like it, at least not the end.

Okay, so on to the best thing, the fact that I'm in love with Max. Yeah, so, I thought I was in love with Daniel. It will be a while before I'm sure about anything in terms of whether I'll keep loving Max, but I can say something for sure, I already love him far more than I ever loved Daniel. God, it's so ridiculous. I had no idea, and I won't make such a mistake again, because, I really can't say now if I could love someone more, even if it feels like I couldn't and even if my love for Max grows (which I don't see why it won't). I mean, I thought I could never love anyone as much as Daniel, so there you go. Anyway, though, never mind that. The important thing is, I am in love with Max. I love him so much it makes me tremble to think about it. I love him more than I feel like I should, if that makes sense. It's like all that time, how much my love was growing for Daniel, was moving up to the point where I could feel what I feel for Max, and it just crescendoed, and when I saw him, it took me about a month, until finally the power of the meaning of it just came through, and there was this bursting of emotion. When I think about all I thought of with Daniel, when I think about all of that with Max, it all feels so much more natural, more right, and so much more incredible, when I think about kissing Max, I mean, I'm sure it would be more so if I actually could kiss him, but even just considering it, there's such a spark, fireworks, you know. I mean, I'm sorry about comparing and saying how everything with Max is so much better than with Daniel, but it's just wild to me how much I thought I loved Daniel, you know, and now I'm seeing that it still was nothing when it comes down, so there's going to be more, but yeah, with Daniel, I never really felt that amazing feeling, that super spark when you kiss someone. I mean, I thought I did, and thinking about it was very nice, certainly, and it was more than just kissing someone you like, and more than with Kurt, but still not so amazing as with Max, and my God, his smile, his laugh... Even before I fell in love with Max, there were things about him I loved more. I mean, I still loved most things about Daniel more, but he was getting less and less wonderful to me in comparison to Max. I tried to tell myself that wasn't the case, at first, I tried to keep from feeling that way, but in the end, I had no choice but to give in, and really, if you're supposed to love someone else, you shouldn't fight it. Yeah, though, and his voice... I mean Max's, obviously. I adore that I can listen to him sing any time. I was never so enthralled with Daniel's voice. Max has the most beautiful voice to me. I'll put on the AtU version of "Hey Jude", turn it up as high as possible without danger to my hearing, close my eyes and just get lost. I know Daniel didn't sing much, but he did a little, and I never thought it was as nice, not really, and I'm also considering talking. I can hear (and see) Maxie on the AtU trailer (which I can't watch all the way, incidentally, as they show some very upsetting stuff, including a bit of my least favourite scene) on You Tube, but also on there is the entire scene from right after Jude meets his dad on to the end of "With A Little Help From My Friends" It's super awesome. The only problem is that it's rather dark, and the sound isn't that great (the sound isn't too great on the trailer, either), but at least it's something. I love his accent, too, like Zach Braff, only, of course, much nicer (not that zach braff doesn't have a nice voice, but then, that's my whole point).

Next time, I'll delve into Max's personality, and why the fact that he's not practically a saint makes him much more admirable, in my eyes, than Daniel.

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