I made a clip show video of Daniel with the song "All You Need is Love" from The Beatles (obviously). That's his theme song to me, so, yeah. I'd been looking up more pictures for it, and came across some very bad things, not just my angel in hurtful situations, but ones where it's not even him, which is merely a bit pet peevy if it's say, a picture of Michael, or Machello in Daniel's body or something, but then they have images from "Need" or "Absolute Power", which, ugh! I know not everyone thinks about that the way I do, but I don't get wanting to put up pictures like that. I mean, if you can even say that's Daniel, it sure as hell isn't my Daniel.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh, my God!!!!!! Right. Sorry. They are showing scenes from the last episodes of SG-1 on Sci-Fi now. They showed one from I believe "Bounty". Do not quote me, but that seems to make the most sense. Oh, my god, though, it's a really awesome scene, and Daniel is precious in it! Shit, though! God! They are also showing just images from other episodes, and they show one or two from "The Shroud" Shit, okay, I don't know. I'm hoping this will not be so bad, but that probably won't be the case. I'm not worrying about it, though, especially since I know everything works out by the end of the episode. I don't know the outcome of every episode, but I know the names and basic plots. I figured it wouldn't hurt reading that much after I dug myself into a hole reading that interview with Michael and had to find out about "The Shroud" early, then having to read about the episode right after that to see that Daniel is okay, I figured I'd just read the premise or synapsis or whatever for every episode. Again, no problems.
You know, I was saying I don't know why I'm here, but I think I know now. It occurred to me as I was listening to "If Everyone Cared" from Nickelback, and no, it doesn't have to do with the fact that I can help people. While that may be true, unlike Daniel, my existence in terms of how much of a difference I can make in this world or any other is, when it all comes down pretty insignificant.
However, the line:
"Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive"
That got me thinking, if I were in Heaven, I wouldn't even know what was going on with Daniel. It seems to me the only being in Heaven who would be able to see what was going on away from there would be God. So, if Daniel had to leave heaven for an important reason, which I would say he did, I must have decided that, even though I couldn't be with him actually, I'd rather at least know what was going on in his life, instead of being stuck up in Heaven waiting for him. I'm glad I'm alive because I can at least see him, that's at least better than nothing. So, there you are.
Another thing I was thinking, Daniel is pretty well the spittin' image of his mum. He does have some characteristics of his dad as well, but yeah, he definitely looks more like his mum overall, I mean, except for the fact that he's a guy, but I suppose that goes without saying. Oh, well. I'm saying it anyway.
You know, I was thinking about the fact that when I was in love (of course those other loves feel so mundane now thinking about what I feel for Daniel) before, I wasn't selfish, certainly, but being with the person, thinking about being with them, I was more involved with how I felt. I mean, if I knew they weren't happy or enjoying themselves, I'd feel bad, and try to help if I could, but I was never making sure they were okay before me. With Daniel, though, all I really care about is his happiness. Unless I'm sure he's fine, I'm not fine. Nothing makes me happier than knowing he's happy (and, btw, relatedly, nothing turns me on more than the idea of turning him on). I think about being with him, making sure he's happy, pleasuring him, anything he wants. That's all that matters.
Oh yeah. St. Paddy's day was fun. We went to Del Taco and got the shrimp and papas, which isn't really St. Patrick's dayish, but yeah. After, though, we went to DQ and had the mint Oreo Blizzard. That's green so it works. I was decked out in green, of course. except for my shoes because I don't have green shows. I wore my brown hiking boots. I wore my Green shirt with The Beatles cartoons on it and my long sleeved camouflage shirt under that, as well as my green army pants. It was fun seeing people wearing green everywhere you went. At any rate, after we went home and did an Irish whiskey shot and had a couple of Shamrock shaped sugar cookies with sparkly green icing.
Now I'll leave you with something my sister said which also has nothing to do with Daniel. We both hate the restaurant Quiznos because they lie. They say Subway's sandwiches aren't that great which I can tell you is ridiculous, plus Subway asks if you'd like your sandwich toasted whereas Quizno's just does it, and I don't even like my subs toasted. Also their subs are not as good anyway. So Maggie was saying that Quizno's means it's a quiz why anyone would eat there, and no you shouldn't eat there, or something. It was funnier if you heard it, believe me.
Getting - Better