2005-07-17 - 7:09 a.m.
I can't stop thinking about Daniel. Okay, I know. Duh! Man, though. You know, Daniel is such a beautiful name. It's my favourite name. I love hearing it, reading and seeing it, especially, of course, as it pertains to my Daniel.
God, I love him so much.
I'm watching Outer Limits on DVD right now, and the last one was about this drug that's made from the essence of people who passed on, so their loved ones can see them again. Only it isn't really them. It's a hallucination. Anyway, alright, obviously I haven't had the chance to have Daniel with me here, but I can't even fathom the grief I would feel at having him here and then losing him. Yet, I would never even consider taking a drug like that. I just can't truly understand settling for a hallucination, a clone, whatever, of a person so you can be with the image, the idea of them. I mean, it's not them. If anything, that would be worse than grieving.
I think Maggie's figured out that I love Daniel more than her, and she's not happy about it. Well, I'm not sorry. Perhaps she should find her soulmate then see if she still totally cares if she can see me in Heaven. I'd understand. Don't misconstrue me. I do love Maggie. She's my twin sister and all that, but the simple fact is that she's not who I'm meant to spend eternity with. When we're both gone, if I can visit her, that's all well and good. I may do that, but I won't have to in order to feel like Heaven is Heaven, as long as I'm with Daniel.
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