The current mood of bluelucy at

Listening To: Imagine

Thinking: I really hate today.

Feeling: devastated

08/12/2007 - 10:09 p.m. to 10: 43 p.m.

There is no God.


I've decided there's no God. I believe there is such a thing as a soul, that has to be true, and I don't know exactly how that all came about, exactly how the spiritual part of us came to be, but I know it didn't happen because of any "higher power". People say things happen for a reason, they say God is just giving us free will, or testing us, or whatever, well, what test are children who can barely get enough to eat studying for? What reason is there for the shit happening in Uganda, Darfur, Haiti, Kosovo, the war between Israel and Palestine? I'm sure all the homeless peole who are on the street because they couldn't afford rent over a lifesaving surgery that wasn't covered under insurance wouldn't mind if god took matters into his own hands and helped them, that is, if he were real.

The biggest reason I can't believe in God, though: As any true Beatles fan knows, and as many others are passingly aware, today marks twenty seven years since John was mercilessly gunned down by the most evil scum to ever walks this earth (incidentally, my grandma on my dad's side was also born on this day, but I didn't find out about that until after I knew about John, and anyway, she's dead now, too), and where is that piece of filth now? He's living it up in cozy solitary confinement, and of course I'm not talking about the "hole" or anything like that. I mean, a comfortable, roomy jail cell that rivals a lot of studio apartments in size and setup, with everything he needs and wants and no one to bother him or try to kill him over what he did. If I worked at the prison he's in, I'd find some way to get him around other prisoners who I knew were Beatles fans, and let them go to work on him. Maybe if someone found out I did that, I'd get fired, but it would be worth it. I am generally all for compassion, but he deserves none. He is pure evil, and how can someone without a soul need any real compassion shown to them? They don't care. I don't buy the insanity play, either. I don't give a shit how crazy you are, you do not murder John Lennon unless you also are truly evil. If you have any compassion if any kind, any measure of a soul, the idea of that is despicable, but he did it, so he must be evil, not have a soul. If he really felt bad for what he did, or didn't realise what it had meant at the time... The fucker knows exactly what he dim. The least he could have done is killed himself, as well.
I don't think things would be perfect if John was still alive, but I most certainly can't see how they'd be worse, and they sure are shit aren't better. So, Yeah, I don't believe in god, because I like to think if there was a God, he would be compassionate enough not to have let that horrible of things happen, or at the very [i]least[/i], he would have caused something bad to happen to the utter lowest of the low who is responsible for it.

I still consider myself Jewish essentially, as being Hebrew, and I'll still observe the Jewish holy days, and Hanukkah and everything like that, still wear my Star of David necklace, but I can't actually be Jewish as far as religion, because again, I simply can no longer believe in a God.

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