Listening to Sweet Love playlist (Song playing now: Over It by Anneliese Van Der Pol)

Thinking: I love having a regular schedule!

Feeling: Giddy!

Oh, I wrote another song. It's called "All I Wanna Do (is Make Love to You)", and it has a somewhat Barry Whitish sort of feel, that is if Barry White was a woman.

Which leads me to my next topic. I said how I think about Daniel and me cuddling, well, naturally, I also imagine us making love. I mean, how incredible, that most intimate of moments, sharing that not merely with someone I simply care about, but my true love, my angel, and of course as I said, being with him afterwards, and before, as well, foreplay and all... That whole experience... Man. I've dreamt about it, imagined it, but nothing could be as wonderful as truly experiencing it.

Anyway, I was thinking along those lines where in "Upgrades" when Daniel says the feeling he gets from wrist device is ..."the most incredible thing I've ever experienced..." Well, that proves right there that Sha're is not his soul-mate, because I can't imagine any power I could gain from some alien technology could be more, or even just as incredible as being with my true love, and naturally, I assume that's the case for everyone, including Daniel, so, there you go. I'm sure she's for Daniel the way Kurt was for me. A super strong love, very easy to mistake for soul-mate love, but not actually so. Still, while I don't think of her as true competition, I can't help being jealous of her. I mean, he really loved her. I know he'd love me more (and I'm not trying to sound egotistical, merely stating the facts), but still. I have a song on my "Yearning" playlist: "Love You More" by Celine Dion, which addresses that, as does "Why Can't I" by Liz Phair on my "Sweet Love" playlist, though both address it differently.

You know, I know why I can't I can't be with Daniel now, but I don't know why I'm here. Regardless, I've decided to make the best of it. I'm not going get anywhere constantly longing to be with Daniel. I'm going to enjoy life to the best of my ability, enjoy experiencing my love to the best of my ability, enjoy listening to love songs and everything else, and look forward to actually, finally being with my angel, without getting all depressed about having to wait. Besides, I don't want to drive myself crazy.

Oh, yeah, also, I had another dream about Daniel a few nights ago. It wasn't a very long dream, and it came about from the fact that I subconsciously heard Maggie rapidly clicking on the keyboard (she was playing a game on neopets) while I was sleeping. Well, apparently that sound is like someone rattling a door handle to my subconscious mind (at least a few nights ago it was), so what I dreamt was that I was watching SG-1, and Daniel was trying to open this locked door. He kept shaking the handle. I think he did that maybe two or three times that I can remember. You'd think he would have tried some other way to open the door, but maybe it was some sort of thing where if he waited a bit, it could unlock really quick, and he kept missing it. Of course, it was a dream. Dreams don't always make perfect sense, and Maggie was clicking this whole time, expect there were pauses where I dreamed Daniel stopped shaking the handle for a moment. At any rate, it figures I dreamed about Daniel if I were to dream anything. I literally think about him 24-7. The semi interesting thing is that the episode took place in 2nd season. I don't know why, but when I dream about watching Daniel on television, I don't always dream about him in the most recent season. However, when I dream I'm actually with him, he always looks the way he does most recently as far as I know, because you know there is a time delay thing, so basically a lot of times when I'm seeing him, it's maybe a few weeks or more from when it actually happened, but never to a year. At any rate, though, that could mean, he's changed his hair, got new glasses, or such since the most recent time I saw him, but yeah, basically, I'm seeing him as he is right then whenever I dream I'm with him. Also, about a third of the time, I dream about him without his glasses. That make sense, though. I mean, there are a fair amount of times when he isn't wearing his glasses for one reason or another, and many times when I dream he's not wearing his glasses, it would be a bit odd for the situation if he were wearing them. One dream I had where he wasn't wearing glasses, he was still ascended, so there you go. He was helping these people who lived in this underwater city, but not Atlantis. I don't remeber the details. I wish I'd put it down when I first dreamt it. I don't why I didn't, but from now on, I note every dream I remeber having about Daniel, or anything just about Stargate, like when I dreamed I actually went trhough the Srargate. That was awesome, and from what I recall, the first Stargate related dream I ever had. Then there was the one where I went through a quantum mirror and saw Teal'c. Those latter two dreams I actually had before I realised my love for Daniel, incidentally, though I do remember he was in there somewhere, even if he wasn't the main focus.

Oh, one more thing: I forgot to say that when "Solitudes" was on the other day, so was "Tin Man", and I watched it but it turned out I needn't have bothered, because there were no good episodes after "Solitudes", until 8:00 p.m., when "It's Good To Be King" was on. If I'd known that, I would have turned it before "Tin Man" started, or before I saw them get knocked out by that device, because then I had to see my angel be okay. That episode is such a pain in the ass, though. I mean, don't get me wrong, android SG-1 is very cool, but they're not my SG-1, and more importantly, android Daniel is not my Daniel. He's hardly in the episode at all, and it's not even that great of an episode as it is. If I see any of it at all again, I will make sure to turn it off before they're knocked out, so I don't have to be frustrated about watching a Daniel who isn't mine for close to an hour.