I can't believe I forgot to say about this! Maggie got me this awesome thing; it didn't come in time for Hanukkah, but okay, it's this AtU fan package, and in it is a bumper sticker with Jude and Lucy, the poster image, you know, and it says "Nothing's Gonna Change My World", then there is a mirror, (which I keep in my purse) with the image of Jude and Lucy holding each other and smiling around "Being For the Benefit of Mr. Kite!" (I have that in my purse), then there is a button with the image of "Because", you know, where they're all lying in the grass in a circle (I love that image, well, particularly Max, mostly Max, okay, only Max; well, I mean, he's the only one I notice; also, I put the button on my purse). There is also a post cardy looking thing with a picture of Jude around "Blackbird", close to "Hey Jude", you know. I don't like that as much, I mean, I prefer the stuff with both Jude and Lucy, but it's still cool. Lastly, there is a film clip, I think like from the copied reel, but still, of a scene from AtU, of course. It's not that great of a scene, just Jude talking to that chick during "If I Fell", but at least it's better than nothing. You couldn't choose anything, so, you know what scene I would've picked if you could.

I mentioned my purse a couple of times in parentheses in that last paragraphs. I love my purse! Along with the button I mentioned, I printed out on t-shirt transfer paper, an image of The Beatles. The front of my purse is perfect to put that on, so, yeah, I did. Then I put dark grey ribbon along the sides (the purse is a darkish blue denim, and if you clicked on the link, you've seen that the picture is black and white). So, yeah, it actually looks now like the purse came like that (it's the hobo bag style, incidentally). It's super cool. I love my purse! Yeah, I know I said that already, it bears repeating.

You know, I was thinking about it, and I am so in love with Max. There's no one I love more than him, but, I don't know what anyone will think about this, but there is someone I love as much as him, platonically, but still. That person is John. I can't explain it. I mean, if I had to choose one person to spend eternity with, that person would of course be Max, but otherwise, I just honestly can't say I love him more than John. I know that doesn't make sense, but I can't help it. John means so much to me. I can't explain it. I get into this mode, when I'm fully realising my Beatles fandom, you, know, it hasn't happened since I was in my late teens! Yeah, though, I'll be thinking about John a lot, too much, really. I have several poems I wrote in this book of poems from that time (also a lot of silly poems influenced by "In His Own Write" and "A Spaniard in the Works", incidentally, and I may show those later, but right now I only really want to say about the poems directly concerning John) about how I feel about him not still being here. I also wrote a song about that called "What Was it For" (I wrote a few songs for Max, as well, by the way). John was such an amazing person. He still is as far as I think, but he's not here, and that is so hard for me, harder than it should be, There will never be anyone on this earth who comes close to meaning what he does to me. I mean, James and Joe are awesome, but even they don't hold a candle to John. If I could change anything from the past, I would make it so what happened to him didn't happen, so he was fine, you know. I do not see how that could possibly be a bad thing. I'll tell you, too, my favourite thing is listening to him sing, because I can forget, just for a little while, you know. I made a Pandora station of John, and all the music on there is great, but obviously I especially love when they play songs actually from John. I love his voice, I guess not as much as Max's. since the romance factor isn't there, but still.

At any rate, I want to put the poems on here, but I want to have them on another entry, as this one is already plenty long.