The current mood of bluelucy at www.imood.com

Listening to "Songs That Remind Me Of Max" playlist (song playing is "Lift Me Up")

Thinking: He really is my favourite sound!

Feeling: Fated (in a good way)

11/12/2007 - 7:11 a.m. to 8:55 a.m.

Weekiversary Type Thing/A Lot Of Other Stuff That Also Concerns Max


Tuesday

I have now been in love with Max for seven weeks, or one month and three weeks!

I still say falling in love with him is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Yeah, I realise I was saying on weekiversaries and such, how I'd only mention that, but I've decided that as long as I'm talking about Maxie for the other stuff, then I can mention it all with the versary.

You know, I get these impressions, like I would always imagine, when I was with him, that he had a mustache, then all of a sudden I was imagining him clean shaven. I was putting lipstick on, and I got an impression of him saying he wished I wouldn't wear so much makeup (I don't wear so much makeup anymore), and just recently I got the feeling that he cut his hair, not a whole lot; it's not quite as short as when you first see him, not that his hair is really short then, but you know what I mean. There are other things too, just every once in a while, but those are probably the most notable so far. Yeah, I don't know how to explain this. I mean, it's not like I'm deciding that he would prefer me not to use so much makeup, for example. I don't even like not using makeup, especially lipstick, as I have a scar on my top lip that I'm somewhat subconscious about (though I actually don't think most other people notice it). I guess I don't mind not wearing makeup so much, though. I mean, a little is okay, but I don't actually need it. I have a lot of colour in my cheeks and all, and I mean, if Maxie prefers my lips without lipstick, then obviously he doesn't notice my scar anyway, or if he does, he finds it beautiful, you know.

Yeah, I don't believe in God anymore, but I definitely believe in the spirit. I know we have souls, and I know Max has a soul, that he's real. I don't know how everything came to be, exactly why I'm where I am. Maybe I needed to see the connection between this reality and that one, and I have to be in this reality to do that. I don't know, but I'm certain there is something to this, that it isn't simply my imagination, and I like to think that somehow, Max really is communicating with me, even if he doesn't even realise it, and that he knows about me, even if he doesn't totally understand.
You know, throughout the film, he's with a lot of gals, but he's obviously not in love with any of them, and at the end he's the only one who doesn't have anybody. I like to think that's because there's really no one for him there, you know. Maxie is a very passionate person, very affectionate, really, but he doesn't fall in love that easily, so if he ever did, that person would have to be just so very special to him, even actually his soul-mate, and I don't know if he knows about me here, if he won't know about me for some time, but yeah.
Oh, and I imagine the reason I didn't know about him before, think about him before (at least not in a way where I realised it) is because I wasn't supposed to know about him for some reason. It's possible I wasn't supposed to learn of him until after AtU came out, so that I wouldn't be thinking about him without being able to see him, and wondering about him, which, I don't know if that's what Maxie himself would be dealing with if he knows about me. Maybe it's okay for him, or maybe only I'm supposed to know about hinm at this point. Though again, it would be wonderful if he does know about me somehow, but yeah, I'm not sure why all of this is the way it is. Maybe it was simply whenever my heart got the message, and it had to happen sooner or later (I'm glad it happened relatively sooner, though it would have been nice if it had happened even sooner than it did). Well, regardless of the reason for it happening when it did, I know why it happened at all, and again, I am so very thankful.

Oh, I added some new songs to my "Songs That Remind Me Of Max" playlist. The order is now...
"Little Wonders"-Rob (Thomas)
"Lift Me Up"-The Backstreet Boys
"Eternal Flame"-The Bangles
"It Is You I Have Loved"-Dana Glover
"I Hope Tomorrow Is Like Today"-Guster
"Head Over Feet"-Alanis Morrissette
"The Way I Am"-Ingrid Michaelson
"This Kiss"-Faith Hill
"I Only Want To Be With You"-Dusty Springfield
"In Flowers"-James (Blunt)
"Heart Of Mine"-Peter Salett
"What Is Life"-George (Harrison)
"Watching The Wheels"-John (Lennon).

Update: 5:01 p.m.

I just have to bring to everyone's attention the fact that I'm a moron, because I've been counting the weekiversaries for my falling in love with Max wrong, and every day I said that was the week mark, it was actually the day before. I'm not sure why I did this, though I will say I'm not surprised I got that I'm second most like Glitch on that quiz I mentioned in my last entry. *sighs* Oh well. Iíll obviously be counting them properly from now on.

Ended at 5:07 p.m.

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