Listening to: "Have You Ever Seen The Rain"-Creedence CLearwater Revival

Thinking: When will this end?

Feeling: Lonely

You know, I think I know Daniel better than Michael knows Daniel. Heck, I think I know Daniel better than anyone knows Daniel, better than Daniel knows Daniel!

Also, sometimes I wonder if it was such a great thing, falling in love with him. I mean, yeah, my self esteem has skyrocketed, but maybe something else would have caused that. Perhaps it's not even from falling in love with Daniel at all! The thing is, in order not to have fallen in love with him, I would have had to not even get a crush on him. Where would I be then, more than two and a half years after I was introduced to him, as it were? Would I still be getting crushes on other people, thinking Kurt was my soul-mate? What would have been so bad about that? I didn't need him as much, so it wasn't as painful. What lasting good can come of me knowing about Daniel, really knowing about him now, here, on Earth? Okay, I know I said as long as he's okay, I'm basically okay. I don't know. Maybe it's because in a little bit here, I won't be seeing any more of him that I haven't already, and it's making me miss him even more, you know. Well, hopefully I'll get through that. I don't want to be like this forever!

Oh, I had a dream a little before watching "Unending" that Vala was telling Daniel she wanted to have a baby. I don't think it was actually directed at him, and he didn't seem interested (and anyway, I don't think he could give her a baby even if he wanted to, but that's another topic). I'm not sure if she meant besides Adria, as in one she could care for herself, or if in my dream she hadn't/hadn't yet given birth to Adria. Yeah, though. It was a very quick, feeling like I was watching a scene from the show dream, but quite clear.

As for that little aside: Right, just bear with me here on this because I have been considering it for a long time: I think Daniel is basically impotent in terms of making a baby. See, look at the evidence: He was with Sha're for over a year, and I'm sorry, but they had to be going at it like rabbits. There was no reason for protection. It became obvious after "Secrets" that Sha're could become pregnant. More recently, Daniel was with Vala for fifty years (in the relativity of a time dilation bubble, but still), and in that time, she never once got pregnant? Again, we know Vala is capable of that. Perhaps they used birth control, but I frankly don't see why it would have mattered. I mean to say, I'm sure they would have dealt with all a child being born entailed when they cam to it, and even considering that may have been the case, we can go back to Sha're. I simply don't see, one; why they would have been using birth control, and secondly, how she couldn't have gotten pregnant by him other than the explanation given. So, yeah, that's my well founded theory, and I have to say I quite like the idea of it, seeing as I don't ever want kids myself, even considering, obviously, that I'll never be with Daniel when it matters, it's nice to think that if I could be, I wouldn't have to worry as much about the kid situation.

Oh, and a while back I said I had a dream about "Unending", before I actually saw it. Well, it was a pretty quick dream, and I think a lot of it was correct, but that could have been due to some spoilers I inadvertently read and maybe didn't even see what they were from, or thought I didn't.