Watching: Case Closed
Thinking: I'm anxious about the next couple episodes of SG-1! Also, new FMA!
Feeling: Anxious and excited
2005-09-14 - 5:50 a.m.
No Panel/I'm Truly Happy/I Don't Mind
Well, a potential panel to determine why the government was so slow to bring help after the Katrina disaster was turned down, by every republican voting! Argh! You know, the only good thing about all this is that it's going to open people's eyes to how incompetent the Bush Jr. administration is.
You know, I'm never depressed anymore. I mean, I'll have these little things where I'm feeling really lonely and impatient about Daniel, and I'll listen to love songs and cry, but they don't last too long, and I don't feel like simply staying in bed all day, or worse. Truly, I've been in what I thought was love before, relationships haven't really been a problem for me, but there was always something missing, I never really felt happy. Oh, I'd feel pretty good for the first month or so, but then the depression would rear its ugly head again, sometimes worse than before. As a matter of fact, I'm the one who ended all my previous relationships, because I knew that I wasn't meant to stay with anyone who couldn't help me over those negative feelings I had eating away at me, those feelings that I know now were always there, even when I felt like I was completely fine.
With Daniel, though, boy! It's such a different matter. I'm truly happy with who I am now. I'm happier overall. I mean, sure, I get upset about things that are worth getting upset over, but my sadness doesn't rule me anymore.
What I'm saying is, maybe I am crazy. Maybe I really am in love with someone who doesn't actually exist, but as far as I'm concerned, if being so makes me this happy, then frankly, I just don't see a problem.
Another thing, it's surprising to me how many people actually understand, or at least, try to understand how I feel about Daniel. I'm not angry with those who don't, though. I think most of them simply can't fathom that I could really be serious about this. Others are probably worried I'll go stark raving mad at some point, and would rather not give me any cause to make them any sort of victim. I know I sound crazy, and the fact that I don't care makes it even worse, but that's okay. I wouldn't mind if no one tried to understand, even a little, because I do understand, and that's what really matters.
Getting - Better