Listening: Over It by Anneliese Van Der Pol
Thinking: Am I crazy?
Feeling: Extremely confused
2005-07-12 - 9:40 p.m.
*sighs* I'm so confused. Okay. One of the creator of Thomas Timber Wolf said he believes Thomas exists somewhere, somehow. So other people think the way I do. Problem is, I don't know if it's good to think the way I do. I mean, it doesn't really make sense. I suppose in a way it does. Well, it's not so bad for the guy, but it can be rather detrimental for myself. Okay. The thing is, I mean, I believe in spirits, ghosts, but I can't prove to myself that there's a heaven, and even if there is one, I can't know that Daniel will be waiting for me when I get there. I mean, he's a character in a television show, played by an actor (a very cool actor, I might add)! Still, when I see Daniel, when I watch him, look in his eyes, I think, how can he not be real? Someone told me I should think about other people, get over Daniel, but that's not exactly easy. Actually, I doubt very much that it's even possible. Someone else told me to go with my emotions. I can't exactly help that, though at times I feel like I should fight it. I mean, if I give in fully and permanently to this, and Daniel turns out to actually not be real, where will I be? God. I don't want to just be floating around as a ghost or whatever, with no one to share eternity with, without Daniel to share eternity with. I'd rather not have a soul.
Getting - Better