The current mood of bluelucy at

2004-05-20 - 10:12 a.m.


Well I think a fair ammount of persons by now have viewed my animated harem, and they all either seem to humour me, or feel I'm just being silly on the Nightcrawler issue. Frankly I find this a bit irritating. I know my love for a comic book character is odd, to say the least, but I wish someone would take it seriously, and realize that when I say I'm in love with Nighty, I truly mean just that, as in, wanting to marry him, raise a child (or more) with him, grow old with him. Yes, these things are impossible, but I take comfort in the idea that I may yet see him.

My theory on Heaven, is this: Each person in the world has a soulmate, someone who was with them in Heaven at the beginning, and connects with them on an unbelievable level that is not possible in any mere relationship. Whoever is your true soulmate, you will be with them again when you pass on (provided you're a good person and make it back to Heaven, which I believe the great majority of persons do, as very few of us are truly evil). The thing about soulmates is it's possible (for example) for two persons not even living in the same time in history to be truly perfect for each other, and perhaps when someone has a mystifying connection with someone from another century, or another reality frame (or whatever you'd call it), it is because they are meant to be with each other, and I can't say why they are unable to even meet until they've both passed on, but I'm sure that will all be explained in the afterlife. This, I believe, is what will happen with Nighty and me. I realize this makes me sound completely bonkers, and perhaps I am. I know Kurt is made up of ink and paint. He was created by a comic artist (genius and all around sweetie I might add), and everything he's ever said and done has been thought up by writers, but I don't think that's all of it. I believe what he's done (a lot of it anyway), in a sense, really happened. An alternative reality if you will. Do not even ask me to explain this. I know it makes no sense, and I know that my belief that Nighty really exists somehow, that he has a soul, makes no sense, but it's what I feel in my heart, and I've felt it for nearly eleven years now.

Incidentally, lest you think I'm a pathetic prude who has no experience with live action (if you will) love and is using Nightcrawler as some sort of buffer, or that I'm mixed up about what is really just a crush gone way overboard, let me just say that I am twenty six years old. I have had a countless number of crushes, in fact with Nighty it was originally pretty much just a crush, before I really felt the truth of things. As well I have indeed been in love with two other persons (both flesh and blood, and, albeit, not nearly the magnitude of Kurt), and while that may not seem like a lot, my advice to anyone who asks, How will I know when it's really love? is simply: Trust me. You'll know.

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